Greg Rhubarb

Greg Rhubarb is an American singer-songwriter, actor, and television personality. He gained worldwide acclaim after he released his first single, "Farm Life," which soared to #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart in 2005. He made his debut album, "Hi I'm Greg Rhubarb and I Like Many Things Including Trucks, Fishing, Hunting, Animals, Hats, Boots, More Hats, and Republicans" in 2006, which sold 128,000,000 records in its first year. His second album, "I Heard There Was Milk Here So I Wanted to Know If I Could Get Some" was released the following year to widespread acclaim. His releases would begin to drop in sales as his third album, "My Manager Told Me to Make a New Album So I'm Going to Make a Sandwich and Then I Might Make an Album" only sold 128,000 records. His success dropped to its lowest during the release of his final album, "I'm Sorry I Couldn't Make the Fans Happy But I've Been Busy Working On Hunting, Fishing, and Raising My Son So Please Don't Be Mad At Me I Made This Album To Say Sorry" which only sold 140 copies. Rhubarb retaliated with a single, "I Hate Every One of You Because You Aren't Giving Me Money", which officially ended his career.

Early Life
Rhubarb was born on March 5, 1994 to his mother, a Latin dancing instructor, and his father, a used horse salesman. He wrote his first song at the age of 7 on a napkin he blew his nose in, and designed his first album cover using crayons on the wall of his house which got him beat up by his mother. Greg graduated elementary school in 2019 due to a loophole that caused him to automatically graduate. If the loophole did not exist, he wouldn't have graduated.

Farm Life
Rhubarb wrote "Farm Life" after living in a city for 6 minutes and hating it. The lyric "Hey, where are my socks?" alludes to Rhubarbs lack of socks during his time in the city.

Hi I'm Greg Rhubarb and I Like Many Things Including Trucks, Fishing, Hunting, Animals, Hats, Boots, More Hats, and Republicans
His first album was written in 17 days and Includes the hit song, "I Wish Cell Phones Were Bigger." Rhubarb spent long days in the studio eating mac and cheese and counting how many shoulders he had.

I Heard There Was Milk Here So I Wanted to Know If I Could Get Some
After the success of his first album, Rhubarb went to work on his next album. Over the 6 week long process he recorded, wrote, mixed, mastered, pressed, promoted and bought the album. The title track of the album contains a sample of Rhubarb breaking into a house. When the family inside the house began to panic, Rhubarb stated the songs main lyric, "Hey uh, I heard there was milk here so I wanted to know if I could set some." Rhubarb spent a year in prison for his act, sparking a social media riot. Several people tweeted the hashtag #gregjustwantedsomemilkdawg on MySpace. The controversy helped spread word of the album, garnering actual excitement for it's release. After being released from prison, Rhubarb released the album to widespread acclaim. The album's sales made Rhubarb one of the richest musicians of 2008.

My Manager Told Me to Make a New Album So I'm Going to Make a Sandwich and Then I Might Make an Album
Rhubarb spent years in the studio making and eating sandwiches. He blended sandwiches to wash down his sandwiches. He refused to leave the studio until his sandwich needs were fulfilled. Several friends and family reached out to Greg, trying to keep him from eating more sandwiches. Unfortunately, Rhubarb managed to enlist most of his friends into the military in order to alleviate the sandwich-related tension. Rhubarb said in an interview, "I enjoy sandwiches and sometimes I go mentally insane eating them so I eat them in moderation. I'm kidding, I eat them constantly and perform illegal acts to get more sandwiches. If you tell anyone about this, I will kill you with my farm tools." The interviewer has not been seen since.

Bejalvin & The Chipmunks
Rhubarb collaborated with Bejalvin & The Chipmunks for the first time with their album "Cease & Desist" and its hit track "Huntin' Down South." The track proved to be quite popular and was included in the compilation, "Best of Bejalvin & The Chipmunks (Vol. 1)." He later collaborated with the chipmunks on their next album with the song, "Jailhouse Jazz." The song wasn't as popular and isn't mentioned much.

I'm Sorry I Couldn't Make the Fans Happy But I've Been Busy Working On Hunting, Fishing, and Raising My Son So Please Don't Be Mad At Me I Made This Album To Say Sorry
After the commercial failure of his last album, Rhubarb decided to return to his roots and create an album about farms, trucks, and hunting. The album became controversial after fans believed the song, "I Only Like Certain People Based On Their Appearance," was offensive. Rhubarb refused to apologize for the song because he was busy taking a shower.

I Hate Every One of You Because You Aren't Giving Me Money
Greg Rhubarb's final single was controversial due to the title which attacked the people who did not like his music. The single consisted of 20 minutes of crying and Rhubarb saying, "I can't find my pillow case," at the end.

Greg Rhubarb's Last Laugh
The last known appearance of Rhubarb was on Bejalvin & the Chipmunks' final album, Death Row. The track, "Greg Rhubarb's Last Laugh" consists of him playing "Super Mario Odyssey" for 23 minutes. This audio was thought to be the final recording of Rhubarb before his disappearance, however a fan of Bejalvin and the Chipmunks recently pointed out that a corpse was found in the lake that "Fishin' Up North" was recorded on. The body has not yet been confirmed as Rhubarb's, but we can hope it soon will be.

Personal Life
Rhubarb lived in an outhouse next to a farm he's not allowed to go near. He is not married to any human but claimed to be married to a hay bale which was destroyed in 2004. Rhubarb disappeared on October 31, 2018. "He didn't hurt nobody. Which means he hurt everyone." said a random woman on the street being harassed by reporters.

Lack of Nipples and Belly Button
I don't know what's up with that. I'm really concerned.